It is as if I am in the midst of a battle and I am struggling to win this fight. That feeling of hopelessness and suddenly you just want to drop your sword and give in. But you are still trying to get all the possible strength that you can get just to win this so called “Battle of Life”.
Every time I stumble and fall, I am trying to get up and keep my guards up. It is not easy but I am trying my very best, God knows I do.
Then I fall, it is as if Life is saying “Keep Trying!” then I fall again, it is as if Life is saying “Try Harder!” but every time I tried, I kept falling, it is as if Life is saying “Now give up!”. One problem lead to another and so on. It’s a never ending problem. I know that I am brave, that I can do this! But deep inside this Armour is a weeping child that slowly breaking down in the middle of this so called “Battle of Life”. Physically you are there standing, trying to be strong, but emotionally you are tired and slowly you are losing your grips to hope, to faith.
Most of the time, I know I am slowly losing it. It is as if I can’t stand up anymore. Like I just want to give in and give up the fight. But then again, when I am in the verge of releasing my hands to that only reason why I am still here standing and only reason why I am still holding on and that is my faith in God, He is just in time! Slowly He released my hands and said “My child, this time I will hold your hands to make sure that you won’t lose your grips from Me. I got you! Remember?”.
Then realization hit me! No matter how big your problem, never forget that we have a bigger God. That unworthy as we are, He is always there to embrace us, to accept us and to love us. He can hear even our most silent plea. We just have to trust the process. And let His will be done. He is just preparing us for something big and something better. Remember that just like a glowing stick bracelet, we need to be bent or to be broken little by little to finally see the glowing light, to finally see the beauty of what God has in store for us.
Truly God is so amazing! He is never early or late. He is just perfectly in time. He knows our worries, our sorrows and our pains. He will never let us down. So, despite of unending problems, I’ve learned to smile and let God. I’ve learned the beauty of surrendering everything to Him. Because at the end of the day, I know that He is always with me. I can hear Him saying “I Got You! Remember?”.